emo.session.day.48

haha…dam is it me or xanga getting bored everytime?…anyways…i write a poem again..

LOST

What you say I dont want to hear it
Dying over here and your standing too close near it
I wanna run away, but to nothing I’ll never go
I wanna die away, but I’m dying to slow

I’m crying
This shit came out of no where
One minute I’m smiling
The next….I’m curled up in my chair
What the f*** is wrong with me?
this depression shit has once again found me
I knew it was coming
I saw it in the shadows
‘ YOu happy K****? You happy?’
And then I’m melting into sorrow
Fuck what you heard
I’m tired of this breatheing
I wish someone would help me
Put this all to an ending….

thax sara for being there for me..

hey look!!!…i made this..haha…

i made a wallpaper version too..haha…

emo.session.day.40

dam i never update long time yea?…anyways nothing good happend…what’s the point of updating if nothing good happen?anyways…i got more poems to put up!!!

Lost

Lost… I see nothing but fog.
Alone, wandering aimlessly,
Only the mist understands
My blurr’ed thoughts.

I walk through the days…weeks.
You can’t reach me;
I’m not here;
Only a shell of someone who once was-
A zombie to daily tasks,
A body who has lost its mind.

Depressed

When I’m here, I’m not here
I’m silent as the grave
You don’t even know I’m near
or if I’m even alive

When I’m here, I’m far away
I’ve become like a shadow
Never seen in the day
I go unnoticed, unwanted, not cared for

When I’m here, I’m nowhere
I’m always inbetween
I wish I was somewhere
Somewhere I’m really there.

How does it feel?

Your harsh cruel words
Tore every inch of my sincerity
It feels like you no longer care.
Its just not fare.
How can you do this to me.
To say those meaningful words
Which engraved into my forever fading soul.
I don’t think I could ever be free…
Its like I’m being captivated for eternity.

How does it feel?
To drown in your own words and tears
How does it feel?
To live in such fear.

Your voice scared me.
Ripping out my maturity.
Leaving me left with this childish spirit.
Only god knows how long it takes
To relinquish this heartfelt shit.

How does it feel?
To drown in your own words and tears
How does it feel?
To live in such fear.

Remembrance of the past.
Embraces me warmly.
But now driving up fast
Towards the present time.
Affecting our future together
Makes me worry of
How our life would be
Without each other.

[release] session.2 – Carry.this.picture

emo.session.day.31
yes…session.2 is up….i going add more poems again ok….that i made

“waiting for the cold”

sitting here beside myself
for another reckless night
letting all these second hand ticks
resound through my body
or whats left of it

cautiously spending
all of these thoughts
trying to comprehend
whether or not i feel anything
other than the numbness
of my own breathing

my hands are never warm
perhaps its better that way
i’ll feel so much less
when the wind becomes a virtue
and your face
becomes the vice

“untitled”

I try so hard to have u love me
but u love others so abruptly
please! don’t fade me away
u slowly make my heart break
when u choose others over me
can u even see?
my world CAN go on tho
but it’s only cause u’ve shown
i cannot trust, cannot live
cannot forgive
but my heart makes me
is it possibly
ur better and i’m not
and that i’ve got no shot
or are u doing it on purpose
and i’m so lost in this
can’t breathe and i cry
and now i can’t lie
how u make me feel
is in no way surreal
i panic and freak out
when ur news comes about
please gurl don’t destroy me forever
i just love u alltogether
but u don’t seem to or u wouldn’t boast
bout another gurl, so now I’ve lost
u a second time
and now i wish i’d just die
but i’m gonna try
and i don’t know why
cause i know i’ll break clear
and i’m overpowered by my fear
……of u

[update]

this is my friends from farrington!!!

ok…what should i do cause i fucking lost now!!!!!

NO!!! Lohi! Not THERE…oOoOo..never mind!

Huuuuuuplaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Hi….my name is I DONT KNOW..and this is my girlfriend I DONT KNOW

oOoOo …lohi…let me lick that snake!!!!

THIS IS MY MONKEY…YOU BETTER NOT TAKE IT!!!!

Richard: THIS IS MY GIRLFRIEND!!!!!it’s better then hilary duff!!!

emo.session.29
poems again….that i made

session.1 – first person

I still have your pictures in my wallet
I know I shouldn’t care
I still have all the letters you wrote
when you still were there

The petals from the rose you gave me
and the origami swan
some string from the class ring you gave me
and the tied up peice of grass you gave me from our lawn

Everything you’ve given me
both intangible and not
are tucked safely in my jewelry box
and forever in my heart.

I still don’t understand
how things went away
I’m stuck waiting for you forever
My friends all ask why

Why do you care so much?
She’s not worth it
look what she did to you.
Their words make sense in my head,
but not in my heart.

…I’m moving on
You’ve changed so much
Your sweetness turned sour…

I’m meeting new people
my hope has returned
There might be someone else out there
who can steal my heart like you have
…someone who might treat me better…

Yet I know
If I ever see you again
I won’t know what to do.
A flood of emotion-
every feeling will return.

The wholenes I felt in your arms kills me now.
I feel hollow .
..It’s not fair.

I said I’d never fall so quickly
but I did, and look what happened
I fell, and no one caught me

There will always be a place for you in my heart
a place you’ll never come to again.

to this special someone out there

For my Love

I haven’t met you
nor smelled your sweet scent
yet I know you’re out there
just someplace I haven’t been

Nowhere that I can see
your sweet smile upon me
or hear your voice
whisper my name in my ear

How can I reach you
send my thoughts far
no place mortals tread
somewhere amoung the stars

session.2&-&carry this picture…tomorrow…

emo.sessions.day.26
here’s some poems i made!!

a poem…

Dare me, i dare you
I slice my own wrist
Take a razor, and kill me, too
Make me bleed
make me cry
it’s nothing to see
just try
come on, i dared you
shut up, don’t talk
just hit me, make me hurt, make me blue
blue in the face from screaming, and stalk
me make sure i live another day
even though I’m already dead
shut up, you can’t say you didn’t know
I’ve screamed off my own head
Cut me make me bleed, until all my hurt shows
come on, now, I dared you
make me bleed, I already do

-no name-

I could spend my whole life
searching for words to somehow impart,
the feelings inside, swelling in my heart.
But try as i may,
it can never be told;
The words that i need are not of this world.
I look to the sky, the stars and the moon.
My heart fills with joy at wonders unseen.
Dreams unfolding in the blink of an eye,
carried gently in the hands of the one i call father

so boring!

[update]

another poem

Close your eyes,
lay down your head.
Mourn no more for the life you have led.
escape from the pain,
cry no longer.
Plead for some peace in this eternal slumber

emo.sessions.day.21

today was weierd..my friends are really weierd..i was taking this love test in the magazine and the answer that i got is 50 and 50 half and half we agree…i mean like boyfriend and girlfriend..who cares..anywhy i saw mayanne and the others but not lohi…(i really miss lohi)..anyways they was asking who have the biggest hips between Sunny and Agenelique..we say there are equal…but Justin have the most huge hips…if lohi came and see her, she going have the biggest hips....then i went to mcd cause i got my pass..then i eat over there and you know what…then i saw these same students that CUT SCHOOL LAST WEEK …good thing i dont talk to them…then they was on the stairs..and they was singing…MY GOD there singing are so OFF KEY! then me and my sister went kam shopping and stay at mcd and wait for my uncle…i was sooo low

[Updated]
this is MORE PIX i bring you:




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Karl/Zer0/One
Age: 15
Ingredients:Pinoy
School: Farrington High School
Grade: Junior || 11
Status: Single
Location: Kailihi
247: Playing my guitar



???/???/???/NEW INCOMERS
Age: 14/14/14
Ingredients:Pinay & Pinoy?
School: ???
Grade: Middle school || 8
Status: Single
Location: ???(on this island
247: SHOPPING

MORE PIX COMING SOON