sara only….or other people that know my #

if i not on on aim or iChat…..that means that my internet connection is cut off or im dam hurting myself again……just call me tomorrow if im not online……ok……sara? ok?…..ok thenz……i update if my internet connection is working tomorrow….ibook, g5, powerbook…are the best when coming to designing anything….…i going bring my ibook to skool tomorrow…..just meet me at the computer lab…cause i going use it over there….

X users and Xp users

i dont know what i going say but i hope tomorrow my internet connection dont cut off….cause the battle begins…..X vs Xp…lol and i might change my layout….to X keepers

soo…..how you like it?

i told you Mac OS X is kool……………………………………im waiting for my Mini iPod……..and my another iSight….….to much of apple things……..i love apple….i love orange….LOL

to the people i have to say “sorrie” only to..:

sara : im sorrie for scaring you yesterday..and im sorrie that you worrie about me getting hurt…..i didnt being myself everyday night now…….and im sorrie…i hurt myself yesterday….two cuts…..im sorrie…really sorrie…i hope you forgive me…..i cried……i cried yesterday…and i should tell you………

2 this person that i made her worrie

I talk to you everyday, and I want to tell you how I feel, but I can’t, I hurt myself for not telling you, not expressing my feelings,
talking to you everyday just makes me want you more,
Maybe one day I will tell you, but I may be a day too late…..

somehow, im becoming a one winged angle

somehow, im becoming a one winged angle, dont know..why….all this happyness making me angery now…….Estuans interius, ira vehementi [Burning inside, with violent anger]…….Sors immanis, Et inanis [Fate - monstrous and empty]…..only one can clam me down……

darkness again…all alone again and i dont want it…..

i dont know..all these feelings i have for her are losing out….. dont know, is it really happy to just be single for awhile?…..dont know…………………….all i just can do i cry…….i dont think i going be feel good when i go back to skool…. i dont know that we can be friends…nor lovers…i dont know………….again…alone..alone..i hate to be alone…I HATE IT….. darkness taking over me again….i dont want it……i dont want it…..save me….

upcoming odd things

—next layout is Prostie Dvizeneija…[simple motions...it's about loving yourself...]
—next after that…a loyout for her….[chika know who i like
—after that is NOIR anime

strawberry blonde mix with maroon red…equals =?

haha…today i color my hair again…yes strawberry blonde….hehe…mix with maroon red…equals to…?hehe…you tell me…hehe

Ya prodolzhayu prostie dvizheniya…..

Prostie dvizenija……is Simple Motions….haha…yes………did some….yulia did it…mostly every boy did it..hehe….”Simple Motions, i continue”…..if you wanna comment me….comment me my last entry….

should…….make a layout for this girl i really like?

i know its wierd…but i might make a layout that matches a song that i like….hehe…“Suteki Da Ne….Isn’t it beautiful?”yes…is from that final fantasy X game….i cried that part when they kiss….hehe lol….suteki da ne, futari te wo tori aruketa nara, ikitai yo, kimi no machi ie ude no naka….it says “Isn’t it beautiful?, If we could walk, hand in hand, I’d want to go, to your town, your home, in your arms”…. such sweet words……make me wanna cry…

next layout will be…..tatu again….

yes antoher tatu layout feat. the song “Simple Motions / Prostie Dvizheniy”….if you dont know the song….it’s about Yulia talking/singing/doing about….haha i cant say….it’s that boy’s usely do in there spare time “someplace alone”..HAHAHA……LOL….yes…a sick mind but it’s good enough….hehe…..“Simple motions, i continue”

too much pain….too much pain to hide..

i dont know, im too confused about this girl i like….it’ killing me to hide my feelings when i talk to her….im acting really really happy when i talk to her…..but when i dont talk to her, it’s really hurting me….i have really strong feelings about her..and it’s killing me…i will wait for you….even though it takes really long…..i have really strong feelings for you…i couldnt tell you that time..im sorrie…im really sorrie..i should tell you that day but i couldnt…I COULDNT…i couldnt…all this pain making me hurt myself, hurting myself…that’s the only way….im sorrie ::cries:: im sorrie……

IM REALLY BORED!!!

im REALLY bored here…..i going crazy and crazy AND CRAZY….ONLY TWO PEOPLE CAN STOP ME FROM GOING CRYZY HERE!!!!!!

OH my

…yeah di yeah…i love this….a japanese mix of all the things she said….i bet everyone likes it…hehe…one of there name is Emi Suzuki and the other one name is Julia Oki..Their band name is a combo of their first names. I think its a bit odd that they also have a girl called Julia….i going post the pix of theme laters

do this

take this thing on the comment box =] 

[o1] Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

[o2] Am I loveable?

[o3] How long have you known me?

[o4] What was your first impression?

[o5] Do you still think that way about me now?

[o6] What do you think my weakness is?

[o7] What makes me happy?

[o8] What makes me sad?

[o9] What color are my eyes?

[1o] What color is my hair?

[11] What reminds you of me?

[12] If you could give me anything what would it be?

[13] How well do you know me?

[14] When’s the last time you saw me?

[15] Ever wanted to tell me something but couldnt?

[16] Do you think I could kill someone?

[17] Describe me in one word.

[18] Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?

[19] Do you feel like you could talk to me and I would listen?y flies open the whole day….that’s soo…odd…HAHA

test things for period 1…hehe

as always 4 in 1 wins the game..HAHA lol………dont tell anyone that i left m

images….hehe sorrie sara for been so late to put up…

people that make me happy all day: sara…hehe my rockin rad friend, mayanne…skater rad friend, lohi….my gothic rad friend, and the others: trish, josh, jayson……and the others…im so lazy to name…hehe

the color red…

…yes i know mostly people i talk to knows that i dyye my hair red…lol my hair is on fire….i wanna make my hair like julia…haha…i post some images later on…when my friend stop looking on the screen and reading what im writing right now…hehe…

one more time, one more time! lol

this is his friend[james]…karl told me to put up some of julia pix for everybody..i going put up the images of karl and his friends later on ok….hehe i love julia too..hehe

JULIA!!!i love you…HEHE..LoL

it’s finally up…hehe

yes i know…finally my tatu layout is up….next i *might* make a change on the layout..hehe…..i love tatu…i love juila….haha…i going update more soon…hehe

uploading and changing]hopefully…hehe cause my rockin rad friend Sara tell me to upload and change my layout and put up pixs..hehe…..so just come back for updates

tatu.revolution.[FRIDAY or Saturday or Sunday]….

say goodbye to session.? and say hello to tatu.revolutionaka [russian sexy girls[hehe]] i going to upload the layout when i come home from skool..hehe..and with the song “all the things she said”

im so happy[hehe, sexy russian girls LOL!!!]

oh yeah…i going put images again finally i got my digi cam with me…yea

coloring hair on saturday finally!

FINALLY

Finally i going home..and now finally i can go on my aim..lol..oh yeah..finally i can talk to sara…hehe

Remake of Final Fantasy X-2 cg movie [Destiny]

whe i was dreaming last night [since i had only 4 hours of sleep] i was dreaming the part when yuna and Shuyin meet….but Shuyin never meet yuna, he meet me…he said to me “karl, why you never tell her? you basterd…how come you never tell her, she is waitting for you, she’s worrie about you..i said to him “cause i dont know what she going to say back to me”..Shuyin said “i know, but that’s what happends when you fallin for her..you cant stop thinking of her..”..the he leave the scene…then Yuna..comes in, and tells me “go tell her, she might understand how your feelings…i know it’s hard for you..but you have to get over it…” and i was like “yes i know..it’s hard to get over it..” then i wake up..[dam i hate when my cousin looking at the screen what i typing....]

Pretending…[Poem]

painted plaster hides my face
emotions choke
beneath these lies
hollow laughter
from my regretful throat
fools everyone
and they believe in my smile
nothing more
than a mask of control

a constant hammering
on my sanity
this is your apology
for my life
a mistake in your eyes
along with everyone else
who will never care
i’m stained with the indifference
of every face i see
a crowd of disbelief
and i am forgotton

dam! dreams…

i slept 9:30am and wake up 4:30…..while i was dreaming….my pillow was wet cause i was crying….”good thing i was alone and my cousin went to work….and my auntie and uncle left to buy lunch”…i was crying…. crying…my dream was nothing…was alone….and a really long path from my past…when i was at the end…i saw her…she came running to me and said..”it’s all over…past is the past….just live on your life now…”then i wake up with tears in my still yet…still crying…..but now…i really need to tell her now…

NEW SONG on my Page FINALLY!!!

remember the REALLY SAD Musicvideo?……Kiss?…yeah…i got the song..finally….lol…i going to put the lyrics before my cousin yell at me…hehe……FINALLY I GOT THE SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!AND A NEW SPLASH IMAGE!!!!

CANT SLEEP!!!

I cant sleep right now, it’s 823:am right now…i going nuts…she is like taking over me….kinda long time i never listen to Yuri Chika – i cry….lol

do you wanna learn some russian words?

Doschitiai Do Sya – count up to 100
Ya soshla s uma – i’ve lost my mind
Mne nuzha ona – i need her
Mama papa prosti – mama and papa please forgive me
Nas ne dogonyat – (they)Not gonna get us
Prostye dvizheniya – Simple moves
Ya prodolzhayu? Where are you?
Ya eto ti, a ti eto ya – i am you, and you are me
Eto lyubov’ – this is love
Allo – HELLO!!!hehe….
Zachem khochu tebya seichas ne znayu… – Why do I want you now, I don’t know
Zachem lyubov’ – Why am I crying..[sniff]
Sutki smotru v televizor – 24 hours a day I am watching TV
Zadihaus’ bez tebya – Cannot breathe without you..

more too come….hehe…russian lauguage is funnnn

“learning RUSSIAN is kinda funnn”

as well you know..i only know the basic words of russian…i dont know why i really like their language because when they talk, sometimes the girls talk really fast so people dont understand them……russian language is fun somehow……haha..”Mne vse ravno” means…haha i dont really care…anyways…i might put some russian love words on my xanga soon…….and no..im not a “Loh”…it means “loser” ok..hehe

again..new splash image

yes new splash image…feat. Lenne and Shuin from final fantasy x-2 and lyrics from “eyes on me from Final Fantasy 8″

going nuts

i dont know why but i got to tell her right now..i have to tell her how i really feel about her…im going nuts…..

Same real/dream girl Part4

as i was dreaming…my dream was dark…really dark..i couldnt see you..i was alone..i hear some voices it was you…i cam running to you but after i almost go to, theres a wall. a wall that repisents my past…as i think about my past the wall become bigger and bigger…i cried. then i wake up..As i went back to sleep again, i keep dreaming of you all days..cant really stop it..i really want it to let it out, but you understand the rest….maybe i just have to wait…maybe i just ill just move on…

Fan art or Backround

as i know that people love final fantasy and the sexy art of them…my friend want me to have a page that have her drawing….so i said “ok.” Then on december 19 (half day of skool) she give me her drawing already… it look really nice and i ask her “can i put it up on my xanga?”….she said yeah..you can do it and i did..ok…then the next day (i was with my ex’s house the other day) i came running into my room so it can scan it (i was doing it fast because…she wanna sent i to one final fantasy site yea)…..just remember this…this drawing i made by my friend from skool..ok

One thing i have to do is……

1. to tell this girl that i really do like her…that’s it! thiers a storie about her it’s “Same real/dream girl Part 1 and Part 2″

Nominate me!!!!

nominate me darkening_emo1 at [ Top Layouts ] and at [ illest_x_layouts ] okz? please =].. hehes Please nominate me ok? love you…

Same real/dream girl Part3

last night..i couldnt sleep i know i been wacthing Jason X from 2:40 to 4:15am in the night…when i finish wacthing that movie i went to straight to sleep..then somehow i keep on tossing and turning. i keep dreaming about you i cant help it…you so beautiful…i wanna touch you for real…since 6 or 7 days pass when my girlfriend break-up with me…i feel so alone…really alone.. i just wanna see you and try to know you more better than talking online…i just wanna see you right next to me…but you have a boyfriend…i keep dreaming of you….i dont know but…i just wanna kiss you….when i wake up this morning i feel so stupid..that it will never happend…i just wanna k.i.s.s y.o.u….sa____!

To Sara only:

sorrie sara that i never come on aim in the past days right now…i just been looking my past images of my last girlfreind(i told you that me and my girlfriend break-up right 6 days ago now?)…i stay at my cousin’s house…i coming back on monday..ok…im not blocking you, im just thinking….and cant really sleep…ok then. when i come online..then you can talk to me ok thenz bye oh…i going to color my hailr like josh’s hair This Saturday!!! can you wait that long? i just hope soo…cause i can wait..hehe——-Karl

New – splash image made by meh..and a mini version of my banner..haha even my friend have a splash screen..lol

later i update more…

this is a poem i made in 3:42am this midnight for this girl i love….

With all the stars up in the night,
I just want you to hold me tight,
All I want is a little love,
Just from you,
The one I love,

I just woke up in the middle of the night,
And found nothing in my sight,
Then I stared out my window,
And saw the black shadow of the night,
Then as the birds passed through the night sky,
I felt the tears falling off from my eyes,
Then I realize that you’re beyond my reach,
And I still can’t carry on with my life.

Without you to hold me tight,
I see nothing but a dark black sky,
But maybe one day I wake up at night,
And find something different about my life,
But now I go back to bed and dream off instead,
And just hope for a change in my life.

Same real/dream Girl Part 2….

anyways, last night, i couldnt sleep..i keep dreaming of her 24 hours and 7 days a week..i really want her in my life but i feels horrible to not able to say it to her…i dream that we where in a shower and kissing…(lol my friend going say to me that im so nasty now)..well back to the storie..as what i was saying…but i really do like her…it’s really hard to say it to her when she have a boyfriend. it’s even hard when you just break-up with your girlfriend 1 day ago….i just re4ally dont know now..i really have strong feelings to this girl i like..really funny, really understand my feelings..that’s why i really want her right now…in my life… oh yeah..to that girl i really like/love….i really do love you…..i’ll be putting a poem what i just wrote later on….it’s about you i mean this girl i like….

what this song makes you wanna do? this song makes me wanna hurt myself again…that’s y mostly sara helps me…but this song makes me wanna hurt myself again….i dont know why….tell me why?

VendettaZ krew w/friends goes to South Park!

Name: Karl Pajela

Hair Color: brown

Type: EmO.boy

Status: just broke-up with girlfriend again…Sara I NEED YOU AGAIN TO HELP ME!!!

Name: Jayson P.

Hair Color: Black

Type: MedEvil.Punk.Boy

Status: SINGLE..AND READY TO BREAK YOUR HEART..lol

Name: Lohilani LaMadrid

Hair Color: Mix with Pink

Type: Skater.Punk.Girl

Status: Single….BUT COSTLY!!!3 cents per minute!!30% disconut with Macys Card.

Name: Mayanne

Hair Color: Black

Type: Gamer.Skater.Girl

Status: Single

Name: Sara

Hair Color: Black

Type: Emo.Girl

Status: taken….waaaaa

Name: Pooh

Hair Color: Black

Type: A Girl

Status: i dont really know

Name: Josh

Hair Color: blue mix with green

Type: Skater.Punk.Boy

Status: TAKEN!!

Name: Justin

Hair Color: black

Type: full of energy…”milkshake” boy

Status: ” my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, Damn right it’s better than yours!!!”

People need Medication real bad!

Name: Gov. Linda Lingle

Hair Color: gray, white, old

Type: OLD LADY!!! HANDICAP

Caution: No Breast!!!

MORE TO COME!!!

Session.5 is canceled?

Yes, it is canceled because i making a new theme…and it gonna be X-2 Past and Present……

now playing: – LEAVE ME ALONE! 12/29/03

“Leave Me Alone! – by tatu.”

as tatu still working on there new album, they make this song to make some tatu haters and newsreporter to leave them alone..as far, they put this verus:

“You must be bored,
You must be dumb,
You waste my time
To have your fun

Each one I kiss
Is news for you
My hair becomes
An interview

Am I too fat
Am I too thin,
Who cares what kind of
Shape I’m in”…so all the tatu haters or the newsreporters “LEAVE THEM ALONE!!”

Coloring my hair like JOSH sounds good

“Coloring your hair like josh hair sounds koollie, you should color your hair like that” said sara and i was like “yeah..i should do that.” “Yups, color your hair, props!, Josh TWIN.” said Jayson i was laughing. “Im like Josh, but in a DIFFERENT WAY.” said to myself and to Jayson.Theres am ORIGANAL JOSH AND A Nasty JOSH..[LOL] Guess what my friend said…”Yups JOSH, EXCEPT HE NOT MORE NASTY LIKE YOU” i was laughing….i would be JOSH TWIN but my friend said “yup but ur brown, so u have to bleach ur skin” i was laughing….BEING A JOSH TWIN….i WOUNDER WHAT JOSH GOING TO SAY 2 ME? LOL!

Compusa AGAIN

well i going compusa again to exchage my iBook for a 12 inch cause i have the 15 inch and the 17 inch ….i want the 12 inch cause so i have the collection of the powerbook family..ahhhh…oooh SHIT i GOT TO TAKE OUT SOME IMAGES!!!!!and they are not good!!!! going right now!!! bye

Another Version of Josh? The “JOSH VIRUS!”

ok me and my friend was talking about this girl that i like..then i tell him that i had her in ALL OF MY DREAMS…then he said “you get aroused by her every night huh? no lie!…damm i wonder what u do to ur pillows”i said..” haha….how you know….even i see her in a anime version”he said “ewww, YOU NASTY!! Get cum all around haha” then i said “hahaha….as the part when me and her kissing…i always wake-up…and i said “dam it”" he said “oh? or maybe u jus when shoot haha!!!!!” then i said “haha….ok….one time….we did it in the garden. He said “garden?, so junk” then i said ” haha….i think….one time…it was in the pool….(ok….stop thinking)”.he said ” ooooo!!!!!!!! something nasty!!more babies!” then i said to him “haha….ok….yesterday’s dream was ok cause it was in the bedroom…” then he said “oooo more better huh?, bang em harder, with less noise cuz of the bed” i said “yeaps, my dreams are not that normal these days!!” he said “no kidding..too much “fountains” nowadays” i laughed. then he said “dont tell me ur becoming a “sex bomb”" i said i dont know haha really really really wierd.” then he said..”THE JOSH VIRUS, except he not more nasty like you” then i said “haha…the josh virus….i guess i got that since i talk to him…” he said “yup,next u gon color ur hair” i said “haha…yups…..JOSH TWIN…”then i said “YUPS” he said ” oh yup!! props!!!!!” ….. PLUS IM COLORING MY HEAR!!!YEA

Same real/dream Girl Part 1

ok, all of my dreams i see this girl that i really like her and she is for real…i mean she’s for real, a real person..not one made up kind…..i keep dreaming of her….seeing her im my dream makes me feel “good” but i dont know if she like me cause she not single….i really like her but i couldnt tell her cause..i dont know what she oging to say…in my dream we make-out in anyplaces…..the bedroom, by the pool, etc..taking off her clothes, ripping my clothes…but that’s only a dream.. i really like her…daydream about her in my classes…teacher yelling at me cause i daydreaming…dreaming about her when i sleeping… that’s dreaming….but i wish i could tell her that i like her and i love her…..oh wellz

My Secret Crush *Poem*

I talk to you often
When we talk we talk about stupid things
There are so many times that I want to shut up
So I can tell you how I feel about you
But I already know you have someone
But they are treating you right
I want to tell you
That I could be that person
Who makes you feel special
The person you can run and cry to
I’ll always be here for you
But I can’t tell you
Because you have someone
And even if you didn’t have anyone
I still couldn’t tell you how I truely feel
For I’m too shy and too scared
I don’t want you to hurt my foolish pride
The only pride I have left
But most of all my friendship with you.

I want you, but you have that someone

Sa____

i want you

jus remember im always gonna be there for you, even if you don`t want me to..even if i leave the island..i will still be there for you..let`s jus put everything aside..and lets jus stay as frends and stuff..cause as of rite now, it feels as if i lost your frendship, and i don`t know what i did to deserve this, but hey, must`ve been something..i jus miss having you to talk to, but most of all, having you as a frend..it`s okeh, this won`t stop me..no worries..i`ve been through worst, remember?!..and im still here for you til this day..cause I CARE, the things u did for me, YOU made me happy sometime..i guess you did too much..and it made you start thinking anykine.i wanna to see you happy and hear and see you laugh and smile.. jus wanting to hold you in my arms, but on the real, you`re not there..those happy, sad, good moments that we shared brought us closer than anyone could imagine. but you not here….

Mad…..Started to Cry again…

two days ago…..my friend was mad at me, then my grilfriend called and she’s mad at me…and i started to get mad and after that started to cryed…..i been crying for 2 days now….my friend didnt talk to me…..girlfriend never talk to me……i dont know y but….if you go on aim and IM me….there’s gonna be an away message saying “crying again…..need somebody’s help before i going kill myself!!!!!!!” i dont know y but i really new oonline buddies/friends so just aim me ok…later days

Sorrie “Blank”!!! and Thanx Pooh

i guess i have to say “sorrie” to jayson…so lame my message to him…anyways….at since pooh help us(wow, yeah for pooh) to be friends i think that im the one who got to stop the fighting….thax pooh…… you help me or us to be friends again.

I want to work?!

anyways, my cousin is trying to get me in were he is working at…you know coldstone creamery…ICE CREAM!!!!…mmmm yum yum yeah….wrong…i wanna work so…you know….MONEY RIGHT…yeah money….i need money right now!!!!

this is sounds like me

“The dream isn’t over yet
Though I often say I can forget
I still relive that day
You’ve been there with me all the way
I still hear you say
Wait for me I’ll write you letters
I could see how you stamered with your eyes to the floor
But still I swore to hide the dought when I trun back the pages
Anger might have been the answer ”

i want you to be with me but you had someone to care about right now… really really sad….

Events for 2004:

tatu.revolution.4.5 – January.2004

1000 words to say to you.revolution.5 – January 19, 2003

cancel “1000 words to say to you cause we and jay going to a layout connection

X-2 Past and Present.revolution.5 feat –
Past: darkening_emo1 and
Present: xXPnOyCrEStXx – Febuary 14

emo//session.6 – March 14

Eyes on Me.revolution.6 – TBA

God bless

K.I.S.S – Because i’m a girl

Dodeche ar suga obso namjadurui maum
wonhar ten onjego da juni ije tonande
ironjog choumirago nonun thugbyorhadanun
gu marur midosso negen hengbogiosso

marur haji guresso nega shirhojyoda go
nunchiga obnun nan nur bochegiman hesso
norur yoghamyonsodo manhi guriurgoya
sarangi jonbuin nanun yojainika

modungor swibge da jumyon gumbang shirhjungnenunge
namjara durosso thollin mar gathjin anha
dashinun sogji anhuri maum mogo bojiman
todashi sarange munojinunge yoja ya

marur haji guresso nega shirhojyodago
nunchiga obnun nan nur boche giman hesso
norur yoghamyonsodo manhi guriurgoya
sarangi jonbuin nanun yojainika

[narration] Onur urin heojyosso budi hengbogharago
noboda johun sarammannagir barandago
nodo darun namjarang togathe nar saranghanda go marhanten onjego
sorjighi na nega jar doenungo shirho
naboda yepun yoja manna hengboghage jar sarmyon otohge
guroda nar jongmar ijoborimyon otohge
nan irohge himdunde himduro juggenunde
ajigdo nor nomu saranghanunde

sarangur wihesoramyon modun da har su inun
yojaui chaghan bonnungur iyong hajinun marajwo
hanyojaro theona sarangbadgo sanunge
irohge himdurgo oryourjur mollasso….

if you wanna comment me….comment on the other entry!!!